“The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep. The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.” (John 10:2-3)
There was a buzz about the house. The papers had arrived. The over stuffed envelope containing the papers rested on the kitchen table – I can’t remember how they arrived … maybe it was by special carrier… maybe it was by regular mail – I just can’t remember. All I remember was the buzz and that I really didn’t understand why all the buzz. Afterall, it looked just like any other white envelope that I had seen a hundred times before.
The mystery behind the buzz soon died down as my Mom arrived home from work. She opened the envelope. The papers made their first appearance. The papers – divorce papers from my Daddy.
Divorce papers that had me listed by the wrong name and with the wrong birthday! Unloved. . . Unwanted. . . Unnamed . . . Unknown. How could my Daddy not know my name? How could my Daddy not know my birthday? How could my Daddy not know me – his very own daughter?
Those were just a few of the questions and emotions that flooded my heart and head as I watched Momma correct the papers. Stuff the papers into a new envelope. Apply a new stamp. Cart them to the post office. And place them into the big blue box.
I wish I could tell you that when Momma corrected the papers, the hurt went away. But not so much. I wish I could tell you that the hurt went away after reading Psalm 139: 13-16 every day for a month; “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” (Psalm 139:13-16). But not so much.
It wasn’t until God revealed Himself to me as my Abba, my Daddy, and my Heavenly Father through His promise in Psalm 68:4-6, “Sing to God, sing praise to his name, extol him who rides on the clouds—his name is the Lord—and rejoice before him. A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. . God sets the lonely in families; he leads forth the prisoners with singing.
It wasn’t until I relinquished my heart to God’s promises – to God’s faithfulness – to God’s love – to God’s word – that I realized the truth of John 10: 2-3 “The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep. The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.
Not only did God create my inmost being and knit me together, He knew my name before the foundations of the earth were created. He knew my name before I was a sparkle in the eyes of Momma and Daddy! He knew my name before my birth!
Not only does He know my name – He calls me by name! He is my Shepherd. I am one of His sheep! I am HIS! HE is mine! I am . . . Loved. . . Wanted. . . Named . . .Known!
Won’t you join me in letting go of your past hurts? Won’t you join me in letting go of the head knowledge so that it can become heart knowledge? Are you willing to replace those hurts with His promises – His love – His Word – His faithfulness?
Lord, I praise you and thank you for naming me – not only naming me but for calling me by name! I thank you for your faithfulness, for your love and for being a Father to this fatherless one. Thank you for being my Abba, my Daddy whose lap I can crawl up into and hug anytime I want. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
I will be giving away two copies of Karen Ehman’s new book “Let.It.Go“. Share your comments below to enter for a chance to win. And it’s not too late to sign up for Karen’s FREE “From Chaos to Calm: The LET. IT. GO. Christmas Challenge and win a Kindle Fire.
Melissa Taylor with Proverbs 31 Ministries will also be leading an online Bible Study of Karen’s book, “LET.IT.GO beginning some time in January. Check out Melissa’s blog or facebook page for more details.
Donna Bostick 
Comments on: "The Papers . . ." (75)
Beautiful, Donna! Once again, God is using a blog post to confirm what is in my heart and what I shared with someone very dear to my heart. I wrote him on Saturday about how it felt to be rejected by my dad when he chose his new family over me and my family and in turn how I then rejected my dad to try to protect my heart. The blessing in the whole situation is that I was able to spend the last two weeks of my dad’s life with him. By this time he was no longer able to put his arms around me or talk, but he could write enough words on his dry erase board for me to know what he was trying to say. God used this time to start healing my heart, as well as healing my dad’s heart so that he could be at peace when he went home to be with Him. Even though my dad died from ALS over 18 years ago, it is over the last year or so that something happens and memories come rushing back to me. I thought I had let it all go, but I know enough now that when God brings up something that I thought I had forgotten and more importantly forgiven, it means we have more work to do.
So I am definitely joining you in letting go of my past hurts. I am definitely joining you in letting go of my head knowledge so it can become beautiful heart knowledge. And I am so willing to replace those hurts with His promises, His love, His Word, His faithfulness, and His forgiveness. This is one journey I am ready to take!
Thanks Lori for you amazing kind words. It’s an every day choice for me too. I have to choose with each memory to let it go and leave it at the foot of the cross. Praying for you.
Thanks for reading Julian, sorry we di&81#n2d7;t get to meet up before I left. Best of luck with your son! I’ll be back in Chengdu in the near future, its my second home after all (~_~)
Oh Donna, I just love the Jesus heart in you………..
You are truly a blessing to so many.. i am sharing this… ❤
Tracey,
As always, thanks for your encouragement and for sharing the work that God is doing in my life. I love when God uses me and my messed up life to draw others closer to His heart. Praying that my words honor and glorify Him above all else.
Love ya!
What a beautiful post from a heart healed by the Love of Jesus!!! Thank you for sharing these powerful Scriptural truths with us though your story. I love the healing work God has done in your life. Continue to tell your story…so many need to hear about the redeeming, restoring love of God.
Wendy,
Thank you so much for being my #1 cheerleader. I am so blessed to have you and your story in my life. I can’t wait to get started on your new study …. Living So That!!
Love ya and thanks for always investing in my life!
Donna,
You touch my heart every time. And my soul aches for that little girl you used to be.
And old hurts that need healing I can truly relate to. I’ve never met you but love you to pieces.
Blessings,
Catherine
Catherine, thank you so much for your words and your love. I love you back to pieces!
I really like the ability to see the index words but it would be really nice to see if the word is being ignored by Google and be able to set an override so that words like &qeao;Suorch&qutt; could be excluded as it appears in a search box on every page on the website, but if my site was for a "Search Engine" I want to include it for my site (I don't have a search engine on my site but the word search does appear all over my site and I want to know it is not a main search term or be allowed to remove it).
[…] and sister in Christ, And, I’ve discovered, she is also a fabulous writer. Read her post here called Papers. And then, enter her giveaway too! Okay….I’ll be back tomorrow with the […]
I love reading your posts Donna! Such an inspiration to me! There are some poeople I need to forgive and let go of past hurts and anger. Thank you for sharing your heart!
Kristen, thank you for taking the time to stop by and not only read but leave a comment. Praying for you as your journey the road of forgiveness and letting go too!
Just this year I have started thinking of God in these terms and it is helping me get over many past and present hurts. It is definitely a process.
It is a day by day process for me! Praying for you.
Thank you for sharing this!
I can’t imagine the hurt that must of caused. But look at what good you are doing with it by sharing. He will use us all to His Glory!
Amy,
It is ALL God and for His glory! Love how he can use our mixed up lifes to touch the hearts of others.
Thanks much!
Thank you for such an honest, open sharing of your heart. A reminder that only God can fill our empty places and heal the deepest hurts.
God is our healer and the lifter of our heads toward Him! Love how He fills us up with exactly what we need when we need it!
Amen and Amen! One of my fav verses is Jeremiah 31:3. “I have loved you with an everlasting love.”
You gave me much encouragement today. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing. It is so hard to let go of past hurts.
Donna, once again you have stirred my heart to its very depth. What a beautiful reflection and clearly from your heart. Bless you. Thank you.
Thanks much Deanne!
So encouraging! Thank you for sharing!!
Thank you for sharing your heart. What an AMAZING God we have! Thank you Jesus for Your Word that binds up all past wounds and brings healing and for courageous ones that are willing to share…. God bless you!
You deserve a dark and stormy for admitting you where a girl scout that lon2gdon,17;t worry I was a boy scout tell the end of high school and spent like 10 years straight traveling to the Mac . Post is just right keep it up. Can’t wait for are next adventure guys.
Thanks for sharing. Wow.
I can’t imagine what that felt like for you. Thank you for sharing. ❤
Fantastic box! I love moornhocme and monochrome with one makes for a really dramatic effect. The stamp fits the box just perfectly, great design! You are so right as the stamp is so intricate just adding the ribbon only, makes it look really classy!
Thanks for sharing this post with us today. I am sure it helped reassure many that God is there for them no matter what else has happened in your life.
Thank you for the reminder in Psalm 68. He is my Abba Father!
Crystal
Storms.crystal@gmail.com
Thank you for this awesome post. My (step) SON struggles with similar feelings. I will read this to him. Knowing he is not alone or the only one really helps him. SO excited about Karens book 🙂
Thank you for sharing….
Letting go of the hurt is so hard sometimes. We often keep searching for that fullfillment we lacked as children from a missing parent, lack of friendship etc. Until we finally realize that all that is lacking in others in this life can be fulfilled in Christ alone we can’t truly be free. Thanks for this great message:)
Thank you for sharing
written a fair amount on the female orgasm, and how its absence often plagues sexual enoenutcrs (causing many women to fake orgasms, which invites a lot of really
Thanks very touching.
That must have been so hard to know that your Dad had the wrong name and Date on the papers. I put the wrong month for the birth of my eldest of 4 on my facebook. She laughed it of and said, “MOM I’m the one born in April remember?” I was able to fix it with a couple clicks of the mouse. Had it been my youngest, it would not have been forgotten for years. It is so important to keep in contact with personality types and the way they will respond.
Thanks you for sharing a difficult experience.
Beautiful words….when our earthly fathers fail us, and they all do eventually, we can have the assurance that our Heavenly Father never will. Thank you for this inspiring message.
I can relate to the hurt in your heart. My father is a recovering alcoholic and that wreaked havoc in our family when I was younger. Blessings to you and how beautiful to see your heart for Jesus now!
Daphne,
I will be praying for you and your Dad. My dad is an alcoholic as well and it tore our family into pieces. I’m so feeling your pain. Praying for God to continue to keep your Dad in recovery mode.
Blessings,
What a true blessing you are. First time to visit and truly touched by your experience.
What a beautiful post. I’m so sorry for the pain your Earthly Father caused you. We are so blessed by the abundant love of our Heavenly Father. Thank you!
What an awesome reminder of how special we are to God. I also had a father that didn’t want me and my mom. We were “cramping his style”. My mom didn’t know the Lord at the time but God led a very nice, handsome young Air Force guy into her life. They hit it off and got married and this wonderful man adopted me as his own and we became a family. But, mom and dad still didn’t know the Lord. When i was 9 and recovering in the hospital from getting my tonsils out the Holy Spirit must have been poking mom because she told dad after visiting me she wanted to go to church there. It was awesome because they both got saved and the Lord just totally transformed their lives. I never heard or saw them argue or fight, they quietly discussed and then gave it to the Lord. They made a vow to be in every church service unless there were extenuating circumstances because they were so grateful for Gods love and forgiveness and they did their best to be faithful to that vow. We never missed a service unless someone was very sick or contagious. My dad was the spiritual leader of our home and our home was centered around God. And this daddy loved me as if i were his very own from the very start. God couldn’t have given me and mom a better man to be in our lives. Yes, i have been so blessed to have a dad like i have. In fact so blessed i never even missed the other guy and he has never tried to find me that i’m aware of. But, it’s his loss and i got the best dad out of it all. Isn’t it amazing how God works in lives even before we accept Him? We do serve a great God. Thanks for sharing this Donna.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. And praising God for His provision for you. Your story of adoption brought a smile to my face. Love how God uses our circumstances to bring us to Him.
This is my first time on your blog. I enjoyed reading your heartfelt words and the truth Of God’s Holy Word. It appears to me that God is using you in a mighty way to help others find God and his healing power.
God Bless you has you write to bring Him the Glory
Thanks for stopping by and for your amazing words. They are ALL God’s words and ALL for His glory. He must increase and I must decrease.
Thank you for the inspirational post. I am early on in my journey of knowing who God is and how crucial he is in my life. I have always felt that I did not belong anywhere and i always felt a void in my life. I was in foster care and then adopted into a family who was abusive and really did not want children but felt they needed kids to be seen as “normal” from societal beliefs. I did not have any formal or informal religious training and the only thing I did hear was ” god made you by mistake”. I recently met a woman who has begun to introduce me to God and I feel more and more a pull towards him and to get to know him and learn to trust that he loves me and he is able to fill that void and heal all the hurts I have felt.
Debbie, praying for you and so sorry that you have had a difficult journey. Praising Him that you are on your journey to getting to know Him. No training needed – it will meet you exactly where you are. He will always meet you in His word. Read it and let Him do the teaching.
Praying for you and thank you for sharing your story. Praying for God to fill you up to overflowing with Himself.
Blessings,
Donna
I came here from Karen Ehman’s blog. Thank you for sharing your story.
Kathy,
Thanks for stopping. I love Karen and her writing and teaching. She makes my heart smile!
Blessings,
Donna
I just start using the computer to enhance my spirituality. I look forward to finding all these new links. Thank you.
So thankful that you are here. Praying for God to direct your path to the links that are perfect for you.
Thank you. I feel God has directed me here and am blessed that he will be with me to lead me down the path that I need and that I will be able to apply my lessons.
Donna, once again your writing has impacted me. Thank you so much for your honesty and transparency. I can’t wait for Karen’s book because there are many things in my life that I need to let go. Your blog post caused some past hurts to surface – and that’s a good thing because as I bring those hurts to the Light, I can be healed and set free.
Bless you Donna. So glad we met.
Love
Nicki
Thanks so much Nicki! You words of encouragement always always touch my heart! I am so blessed to have you in my life and call me friend. Love ya!
Letting go is one of those things that has never been easy for me either. My teen and early 20’s were filled with a LOT of hurts. I didn’t come to know God until my late 20’s early 30’s and even then it took several years before I began to truly believe that perhaps I was truly loved. I can’t wait to get my hands of a copy of Karen’s book and start to truly let go of the past instead of just burying it!
Herrlich der Fluch. Und bei DEINER Frau hat er wirklich etwas fugrthecrerendes ;-)Wir haben so einen Universallappen auf der Spüle. Okay, wenn mir meine Frau damit irgendwas aus dem Gesicht wischt, denke ich auch immer, haben wir damit nicht gerade eben XYZ aufgewischt….?
Me too!!! One of my major struggles is letting go of the control and the power. I want it cause I think it’s mine! Love the song, I Surrender All but I struggle singing it because of the ALL word….there is always something that I want to keep within my grasp. Always!
I can’t begin to tell you how much I needed to hear that today. Miss you Donna!
Wow. Donna I am in awe of your strength in being able to share what was probably a very painful experience for a young person.
Thankful for my Abba Father who replaced my earthly father.
Thank you Abba father for your unconditional love, for loving me even before I was ever born.!!
Thank you Donna, for the reminder!!
Loved your post. Found it through Karen Ehman’s blog. Thanks for sharing.
Donna, what a heart moving story. I lost my Father in August after losing my Mom in May. I too have a copy of their divorce papers with my name misspelled. My Father loved me in his own way and as he aged he found that he wanted more of a relationship with his kids. I’m so very blessed to have a Dad that shows me the kind of love our heavenly Father has for us.
Lori A,
So sorry for your pain as well. Will be praying for you. And me too on being thankful for our Heavenly Father! He does provide for us unconditionally.
Blessings upon Blessings,
Donna
Thank you for sharing your story. I don’t have a close relationship with my father and loved the verses that you provided.
It’s all God including His verses! It’s all about Him and the work He wants to do in and thru us as he molds us into his image.
Amen!
Thank you so much for your post Donna. As always, I can hear your voice and see your spirit shine through each sentence. I needed to be reminded of this truth today especially since my now teenage nephew is at a crossroads with his father and I simply pray that he will know how loved he is by God. So thankful for you and praying that God will continue to use you to touch the lives of others through your writing and your life. Blessings to you!
This was a very meaningful read. Thank you for sharing the scriptures, your life, and this encouragement.
thanks for sharing your story. I didn’t have a good relationship with my dad and he died 7 years ago. I am still struggling seeing God as my dad – still waiting for him to punish me.
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